WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:01.860 --> 00:00:05.550 Hello, this is Casey with another edition of how I edit, where I talk 00:00:05.550 --> 00:00:09.810 aloud editing process to give you some insight into how copywriters 00:00:10.350 --> 00:00:12.630 try and make their copy better. 00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:18.090 Today, we're talking about being mobile friendly and using best practices. 00:00:19.020 --> 00:00:21.630 We know that mobile devices have smaller screens. 00:00:21.690 --> 00:00:25.530 And so we need our copy to be optimized for those smaller screens. 00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:29.820 When I look at this particular copy, I see a lot of chunky text. 00:00:30.480 --> 00:00:32.220 Right now I'm working in Google docs. 00:00:32.820 --> 00:00:36.870 But if I wanted to get some idea of how this copy would display. 00:00:37.410 --> 00:00:40.260 On a mobile device, I'm just going to shrink the margins. 00:00:41.250 --> 00:00:44.610 When we can already see if we were reading this on a mobile device. 00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:48.810 We have big chunks of texts, make it much harder to scan 00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:50.490 less attractive to the reader. 00:00:51.060 --> 00:00:51.600 So. 00:00:52.230 --> 00:00:53.550 We need to shrink these down. 00:00:54.180 --> 00:00:57.820 In particular, this very first, section here. 00:00:59.350 --> 00:01:00.790 As I look at this section. 00:01:01.900 --> 00:01:03.730 There's a lot of things I can do. 00:01:03.850 --> 00:01:06.820 One, you can just read it and try and see if there's a good place 00:01:07.090 --> 00:01:09.310 to potentially break up the copy. 00:01:09.699 --> 00:01:11.740 I can also find ways to. 00:01:13.390 --> 00:01:14.710 Play with the text. 00:01:14.760 --> 00:01:19.740 To make it flow better and give it that, that spacing it needs. 00:01:20.580 --> 00:01:21.450 For example. 00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:24.630 When I read these last two sentences here. 00:01:26.460 --> 00:01:30.570 They actually don't really add anything and they don't really make any sense. 00:01:30.630 --> 00:01:32.220 So I'm just going to find out, delete them. 00:01:34.620 --> 00:01:39.270 Another thing I noticed is right here, it talks about this should be pretty obvious. 00:01:39.570 --> 00:01:43.020 Well, if something is obvious, we don't need to talk about it. 00:01:44.280 --> 00:01:46.320 Let's not insult our reader's intelligence. 00:01:46.350 --> 00:01:47.280 So I'm going to get rid of it. 00:01:48.090 --> 00:01:48.180 Okay. 00:01:48.900 --> 00:01:49.710 Start here. 00:01:52.830 --> 00:01:55.260 Right here, this phrase express your concern. 00:01:56.070 --> 00:01:59.610 But it can be summarized with one word and that is talk. 00:02:00.660 --> 00:02:04.770 Also talk sounds slightly more informal and conversational than saying 00:02:04.770 --> 00:02:06.930 something like express your concern. 00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:13.290 So already I've lost a lot of, of sentences. 00:02:13.980 --> 00:02:15.329 Made it shorter. 00:02:16.140 --> 00:02:16.950 Now I can. 00:02:17.730 --> 00:02:18.959 Add a new paragraph here. 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:20.579 Kind of makes sense. 00:02:20.940 --> 00:02:22.530 There and. 00:02:23.040 --> 00:02:26.880 Already, this is way more mobile friendly than it was before. 00:02:28.650 --> 00:02:29.970 It's the same thing here. 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:32.160 We have four sentences. 00:02:32.160 --> 00:02:34.980 Usually we try and shoot for two or three. 00:02:35.579 --> 00:02:39.360 Kind of depends on the length and if it truly makes sense. 00:02:39.700 --> 00:02:42.430 We can probably get away with leaving this one alone. 00:02:44.410 --> 00:02:48.490 Let's like when you come here, I'm okay with the spacing on this one. 00:02:49.540 --> 00:02:50.200 Let's see. 00:03:01.990 --> 00:03:04.150 I can probably get rid of this sentence. 00:03:06.250 --> 00:03:08.020 This one is ideal length. 00:03:08.500 --> 00:03:08.710 All right. 00:03:08.710 --> 00:03:11.350 Well, here, this one's starting to run a little long again. 00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:13.720 So looking at this one. 00:03:25.570 --> 00:03:26.320 Let's see. 00:03:29.380 --> 00:03:31.540 I think we'll just add a new paragraph here. 00:03:43.300 --> 00:03:43.510 Yep. 00:03:43.570 --> 00:03:44.500 I think there will be fine. 00:03:45.160 --> 00:03:47.320 And then again, this one is also running. 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:49.180 A little long. 00:03:52.600 --> 00:03:54.550 I think I'm going to make the new paragraph right here. 00:03:56.350 --> 00:03:58.450 So now this is down at two sentences. 00:03:59.140 --> 00:04:00.550 This one's down to three. 00:04:01.720 --> 00:04:02.770 This is fine. 00:04:03.430 --> 00:04:04.720 This one's fine. 00:04:05.710 --> 00:04:06.700 And this one's fine. 00:04:07.090 --> 00:04:08.470 And so is the conclusion. 00:04:10.330 --> 00:04:12.820 So in terms of being mobile friendly, it's a little better. 00:04:12.820 --> 00:04:15.970 There's still more work to be done to make this more mobile friendly, 00:04:15.970 --> 00:04:17.980 such as you're fixing these headers. 00:04:18.430 --> 00:04:21.460 But in terms of formatting and spacing, That part is better. 00:04:21.850 --> 00:04:22.120 Hope. 00:04:22.120 --> 00:04:23.260 This has been helpful to you. 00:04:24.670 --> 00:04:26.830 And I look forward to your comments by.